All About Celia And Friends. Tune In, Turn Up and Drop Scones.


All About Celia And Friends. Tune In, Turn Up and Drop Scones.

Chapter 1

In which Joanna is thinking about poetry and can’t stop rhyming, pretends to be someone else so she can more easily blow on the old trumpet, breaks off to try and illustrate said post, remembers she’s meant to be doing ninety other things, decides to use press quotes because they describe it in ways she hasn’t thought of, hopes more people will listen to her podcast and like and subscribe so she can emerge triumphant from the new year slump

Wife On Earth Episode Round Up For Beginners

Award winning super dupes comedian and writer Joanna Neary brings us her beautiful, quirky, otherworldly and unique world starring her most loved character Celia Jesson, repressed 1940’s housewife with a tumultuous inner love life.

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Celia uses a square shaped microphone on purpose, as she says it looks less suggestive.

Celia was originally inspired by Laura Jesson, the female lead in Brief Encounter. Joanna loves that film very much indeed and is only inspired by things she adores. The one time she wrote based on dislike, it stank and was ditched.

To help you find what you’d like to hear best, here are our six episode outlines and some of the books Celia and her husband Fred reviewed for series 1.

  1. While reviewing The Planets by television’s Professor Brian Cox, Celia discovers that Brian longs to work in peace as an ordinary high street chemist. Can Celia keep his secret and preserve her own marriage?
  1. John Higgs’ The Future Starts Here is the first positive book about the future that Celia ever read. But how accurate is it? Celia travels into the future to find out. Meanwhile, Fred builds a homicidal robot. 
  1. Milkman* by Anna Burn is reviewed by the team. Russell Nigels has got an acting job, leaving unemployed fellow actor Gerard Jeremy to review the latest TV shows. Meanwhile, Celia has run out of milk…
  1. Marie Kondo’s Tidying Up book forces Celia down to the local charity depot to retrieve a donated crossword puzzle, and Russell Nigels re-evaluates his bedsit.
  1. Inspired by Jaron Lanier’s book, Celia joins Twitter so she can delete her account, and Fred meets a like-minded chum on Grindr. Preferring a simpler life, Celia goes to the Post Office and nearly destroys her marriage.
  1. Reading Phillip Pullman reminds Celia of her first love, leaving her longing for wild and stimulating adventure. Meanwhile, Fred is happy to read the phone book and charlady Mrs Coil storms out of the library during the ‘What The Local Papers Say.’

*In ‘Milkman’ male librarian Darren Trembling is sarcastic about a leather bookmark. If you’ve been affected by any of the bookmark- related issues covered in this episode please contact the Bookmark Trust for a confidential chat.

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Fred with a spanner. Fred would like to ask readers if they favour the beveled edge bench chisel, the mortice chisel or the paring chisel? See answer below.

Newspaper Fanfare

Here’s what the papers say about Celia, from Joanna’s previous live shows.

Her idea of crossing Celia Johnson’s character from Brief Encounter with a contemporary (trapped) housewife – relaying her diary’s 1940s-styled entries to us throughout the show – is so inspired, and beautifully executed, it deserves its own Radio 4 series.” 

Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph

‘The real joy here is the character based on Celia Johnson in Brief Encounter, a pitch-perfect impersonation taken to its logical conclusion’

Stephanie Merritt, Observer

‘An immaculate Brief Encounters parody encapsulates a lost age of repressed passion, snobbery and lumpy marmalade’.

Bruce Dessau, Evening Standard

‘Has audience members wiping away tears of laughter’

The Edinburgh Reporter ****

‘This sense of dislocation is part of what makes Neary’s performance so captivating. She is like a woman from another era trying to get to grips with the modern world, but in her own very peculiarly repressed English way. Neary has a very distinctive comic mind and also goes off at wild, unexpected tangents. Martin is good value too, with an intriguing back story and a habit of playing unexpected acoustic power ballads’. 

Bruce Desssau, Beyond The Joke ****

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Centre Partin Martin, aka Jimi Pretendrix. He of ‘the intriguing back story’. He used to rehearse with his band in Kilham Hall and the band were delighted when Metallica released their album ‘Kill Em All’. Celia doesn’t know what any of this means.

Joanna never usually uses the Dominic Cavendish quote about Radio 4 because it seems a bit tricky. She’d love Radio 4 to like Celia but they’ve never taken her to their amplified London Based bosom. Celia has appeared on Radio 3 though, possibly because the show was recorded in Manchester, where she is allowed in. Namely, twice on The Verb, talking about words. It’s a shame (for JN) that the critics don’t work for the beeb but Joanna is very grateful indeed for their thoughtful words and has certainly had her fair share of bbc based luck and joy so there we are. We expect that Joanna loves that she can put out her own Celia show with Cosmic Shambles Network though, and knows it’s not for everyone. What is? And so we’ll just have the nice quotes thank you. Thank you.

Sitting on a wicker chair with a first edition (condition, fair)

Joanna really has to get going. As long as a book doesn’t stink or isn’t written in by other people, it’s considered good condition in this house. Ta.

Attention. The first episode was supposed to include a recipe for sago pudding, but it got mislaid in the library. If found please pop through the letterbox at 169 Acacia Avenue, Lower Upping, Toxborough, CT16 4NL.

Wife On Earth podcast also deals with listeners questions, eventually in CELIA’S MAILBAG. Here’s the first of those Listener Specials. Sorry to those who have been in touch and haven’t had a reply yet. It’s coming. Watch this space or check www.joneary.com for updates.

Which books would you like to hear reviewed by the gang? Let us know your thoughts. Series 2 will be looking at music, world history, childhood books, cookery, marriage, and days out that are meant to be fun. Anything else? Any particular books? Recommends gratefully received.

Condition of Books from Good To Mint, Homicidal Robots Are In Large Print

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This is Jennifer Coil, Celia’s right hand (char) woman. Here you can see her drinking tea from a wine glass, it was a forfeit on New Year’s Eve but Mrs Coil said it actually tasted better that way.

Answer to Fred’s chisel question is ‘Celia, this is a trick question, as no one in his right mind would choose the mortice chisel’.

Wife On Earth also stars Ben Crompton as Russell Nigels, Adam Buxton as Gerard Jeremy, Chris Sloman as Darren Trembling and Anna Crilly as The Head Librarian. It’s written by Joanna Neary and Joseph Nixon and the opening music is written by Hedluv.

 

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It’d mean the world to me if you liked and shared this work. But not if you hate it. And it’s fine if you do, we’re all different aren’t we? For instance, I violently dislike a good deal of mainstream tv, radio, music and opinion but I don’t bang on about it.

Jo is currently looking into taking Wife On Earth to Edinburgh Fringe Festival and also Brighton Fringe Festival and more.

Toodle oo.